2017 was like an earthquake, with great ripple effects well into November. I was overwhelmed. It felt as though I was drowning beneath everything. Anxious. Nervousness and worries has fed my soul. So so tired, I had to drag myself out of bed.. My circumstances got the better of me. There were no more opportunities, only obstacles.
I WAS LOST!
I felt hopeless.
Maybe you found this blog because you too are without hope. Maybe you are on a journey of self discovery. Maybe you just found it…
Whichever way, from my heart to yours, thank you.
There are a million other blogs you could read, thank you for taking time to read mine.
Let us get back to point.
You were you before the world told you who you should be?
When I was younger, I wasn’t afraid.
When I was younger I did things that were good for my soul. I lived an adventurous life.
Tanya Holland wrote a six word memoire “wannabe heroine, but just plain Jane“. I became a plain Jane, the heroine in me for lost.
Today I am stuck in the mundane and the mediocre, all because of fears and worries.
Today I am rather afraid. I am anxious and worried about most things. In most situations, I find myself thinking “what are the people going to say?” Honestly, people rarely thinking about you. They have their own worries. The don’t have time to be worried about yours.
I am afraid to use my voice and to raise my opinion.
I am afraid to live boldly. Fearless. Empowered.
I am scared for the future of my children.
I am afraid to be true to myself.
When did I become so afraid? Why am I so afraid of my voice and my opinion?
After some introspection, I have realised, I have given too much thought to the opinion of others. I lived in their truth and opinions, without validating my own truth and opinions. I have been told I am too opinionated. I have been told I am a b*tch and inconsiderate. That I should choose my words better, so that I don’t offend or tell the truth.
I have been criticized about the way I dress and the way I talk.
I have been told there is no hope and future.
I started to believe this lies. And I got lost.
I lost hope. I became negative, cynical and overwhelmed.
At the beginning of a new year, I have adjusted my vision. I have aligned myself with my values. I have made the time to discover myself again. I know who I am and I know where I am headed.
I am visionary. I am creating a legacy.
I am a changemaker.
I am a mother. This is my highest and truest calling.
I am a woman. Beautiful. Empowered. Strong.