Something need ​​to change

When I read these words from Lao Tzu, I felt them deeply. “He who knows others are wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.”

When was the last time you had a deep, meaningful conversation with yourself? A conversation to know your innermost being? We don’t have deep and meaningful conversations with ourselves, {in my opinion} because we are afraid of what we will discover. We are afraid of our real and authentic selves. As Marianne Williamson poem says, “it is our light, not our darkness that frighten us the most.”

We live in a time when it is so fundamentally important to know ourselves. The world {especially social media} tells us with so much ease who we should be. We should be rich. We should be successful. We should live a life of luxury and opulence. We should have a blog. We should have a social media following with thousand of followers. We should… We should… We should.

We take all this “should’s”, without us internalising it and just live according to the rules of them.

In this blogpost, I want to challenge you to start thinking differently about the “should’s” of the world and define these on your own terms.

I want us to begin at the place of self-awareness.

Self-awareness: who are you?

Google dictionary defines self-awareness in the following way: conscious knowledge of one’s own character and feelings.

Upon further research I found a wonderful article from According to this article, self-awareness is the key component to emotional intelligence.

Self-awareness is made up of emotional awareness, self-assessment and self-confidence. It is about knowing your emotions, your strengths and weaknesses and understanding your worth, according to Daniel Goleman.

Self-awareness is having a clear understanding of your personality. This includes who you are, embracing your strengths and sharing it, not getting hang up on, but working on your weaknesses, knowing your inner-most thoughts, challenging your beliefs and mindset, know what motivates you and understanding your emotions.

Self-awareness is being aligned with your true self and the joys in your life.

Self-awareness is knowing when life is aligned, but also about knowing when it is misaligned. It is about having a practice in place that will help you get back into alignment.

Conscious knowledge: I am present

Have you heard “millennials are woke”? It is my daily intention to be more woke. But what does it mean?

Let us get a better understanding of the word conscious or mindful.

Conscious is defined in the following way:

  • aware and responding to your surroundings
  • having knowledge of something
  • deliberate and intentional

This “wokeness” is to be deliberate and intentional. It means to be purposeful, strategic and planned.

When was the last time you dreamt about your future self? When you sat down with great intention and planned for who you want to be in the future?

It is a strange idea… planning your future self. It is time to make your future bigger than your past!

The best way to do it, is with an exercise called “Current me vs Future me“.

Take your journal, on one page you write “current me“. On this page you write down words, phrases, thoughts, ideas, believes, relationship, your career and everything else that is part of who you are. You are describing your current self.

When you are done with your “current me” give thanks to yourself for who you are. The journey that has brought you to this point. Celebrate who you are and what you have accomplished.

Once you are done with the gratitude practice, you move on to the next page, on which you then write “future me“.

On this page you are intentionally dreaming and planning about who you want to be. Create the person you dream of becoming. Describe yourself as purposefully and elaborate as you can.

Here are a few questions to get you dreaming:

  • How did you create your future self?
  • How are you thinking differently?
  • Which steps did you take to get here?
  • How are you feeling?
  • How are you dressing? How do you eat and talk?
  • Who are your friends?
  • For whom and what are you grateful?
  • Describe yourself in three words?

When you are done with this part of the exercise, meditate about this person. See him/her in your mind eye. Be excited about your future self. Pray for this person and all the choices that he/she needs to make. Celebrate yourself.

Once you are clear about who you want to be, it is time to make decisions to bring this person to life. Now the power lies in your hands to create this future self, with the choices and decisions you make.

it is important to stay in touch with this person. Think about him/ her daily. Make decision from your future self, not your current self. This will help you to elevate yourself and create a beautiful life.

Your character: who you are

I heard this wonderful saying when I was at a leadership training: when character and talent are on the same battlefield, talent will always win.

Let me explain.

We give so much attention to making talent better. When a child in school is good with athletics, the parents and teachers will go to extra length to develop that talent with coaches and trainings and strategies and everything else that is needed to develop that talent.

But let us say that same child is showing a high regard for living ethically it won’t be that much developed. A moral, ethical life is character.

Character doesn’t get the same attention as talent does.

You are here and you are reading this blogpost. You are coming to the awareness that there are things that need to change. You are coming to awareness that you have strengths that need to be developed. You are coming to awareness about your personality and feelings and beliefs. This is all part of building your character.

You are making an investment into building, creating and shaping your character. This is all part of your personal development.

Your feelings: honor them

I want us to circle back to the article from Let us chat about emotional awareness.

Most of us grew up being shamed for our emotions. It was part of the era in which we were raised. We weren’t helped to understand our emotions or how to name them. We were raised with the belief that there are good and bad emotions. And this screwed us up.

In my own life, I had to work hard on understanding, naming and supporting my emotions. I was 33 years old when I came to the realization that emotions aren’t good or bad, emotions are just emotions.

Emotional awareness is an ability to recognise your own emotions. People who are able to recognise and understand their emotions will,

  • know what emotions they are feeling at any given moment and why
  • understand the link between their emotions, their thoughts and actions, including what to say and how to say it
  • understand how their feelings will affect their performance
  • and they will be guided by how they feel about their personal values

Emotional awareness is crucial for your personal health and well-being.

It is worth it to take the time to get to know yourself.

When you know yourself, you are one step closer to enlightenment. Don’t settle for the “should’s” of the world. Step into your own greatness and do the things that set your soul on fire.

This journey of self-discovery and self-awareness is the best journey to be on. It is never wasted time to know yourself better, to develop your character and to honour your emotions.

If this blogpost has sparked something within you, then I want to invite you to download the 5-step plan of personal growth and development, here.

About Sonika

Sonika Krüger is first of all a mother. She is the owner of Flourish* by Sonika, a Life Coach and a teacher. Flourish* focus on motherhood, lifestyle, personal growth and time management. She shares from her own experiences. She is available for training and speaking engagements. Please follow Flourish* by Sonika on Facebook and Instagram.

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